A Whole New Meaning Now

Okay wow. It's been way too long since I was really posting.

Classes have started again. Sort of.

I'm TA-ing for another professor this semester. It's two 1000-level US Politics classes. I was pretty disappointed when I found that out...but then it got better. First, the professor doesn't believe in teaching basic US Politics the same way *my* poli sci 101 prof taught. As in...the first day, he told the classes that their belief that we have three branches of government is a lie. I didn't find that shit out until it had already been hammered into my brain wrong. I'm jealous of my students...this will be one of their most beneficial political science classes. Besides that, I have my own assistants! The prof has two undergrad TAs, so they'll do the grunt work, I'll set and record grades and lead discussions. They're really cool kids too (kids...they're seniors, they're not that much younger than me). Both are really bright. The girl has been interning with the FDA and really seems to have her shit together. The guy doesn't have the impressive resume but he's pretty sharp too. Both have worked together in classes so they've already got their dynamic set out. I'm kind of bummed cuz the prof offered me a full time assistantship (twice the stipend! all of my tuition covered! every grad students dream!). Unfortunately, the other class he's teaching is at the exact same time as my Russian class. So I had to turn down the offer...

And the semester gets even more exciting! Hard to believe, I know. Last week, I got an email announcing a last-minute course being added. Nuclear Security Studies. YES. SO MUCH WIN. I don't remember the last time I was this excited for a class! The books look amazing too. I wanted to start reading them already, but I have other classes to read for and I don't have the syllabus yet so I don't know when I need to read what. The course itself is meant to bring together nuclear engineering students with policy students. It could not be any more perfect.

But wait! There's even more excitement! I'm playing rugby again. And as if that on it's own is not amazing enough, my team is awesome. I have never had the privilege of playing on such an amazing team. And I'm talking about their team chemistry, since I haven't seen them perform on the pitch yet. These girls are incredibly driven, and have amazing coaching assistants who volunteer their time to push us to become better athletes. Even while getting their asses kicked by intense work-outs, these girls not only perform but do it with positive attitudes. I've never been so impressed. I've only been to two practices, just one week around these girls, and I could not be prouder to say I'm part of this team. They've all been incredibly welcoming as well, with me being some random grad student just showing up in the middle of their season. I'm sad I didn't take the initiative to join the team sooner. The practices are intense, and our Monday skills practice adds on to the hell that is my Monday schedule (more on that later), but it's an amazing feeling to be part of this team, to be pushed by the coaches and driven by the strength of the girls I'm working alongside. I'm excited to join them on the pitch. In a way I've never been excited about any team in any sport before.

Now fingers crossed I don't get injured. It's tough being old and broken. I'm only a few years older than some of these girls but they can definitely run circles around me.

On top of all that, the boyfriend and I are counting down our last days apart. It's been so long it just feels crazy to be able to count it in days. I can't wait for him to be home. Blacksburg has slowly become more and more like home, but it's not there yet. And having him here will help complete that.

Such an amazing start to my second semester of graduate studies. And here's hoping it only gets better!

Beg Change From A World That Needs Some

One of my friends posted this on Facebook, and I absolutely love it.

"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is."

It's from Charles Bukowski's Factotum. I think it's very appropriate right now as people are going into the new year with new ambitions and plans and a new set of resolutions.

I'm incredibly excited for the new year. It won't be much longer before the boyfriend is back stateside, and shortly after that he'll be with me in Virginia. It's hard to remember what it's like, not being alone. I can't wait for him to be home. There will be a lot of changes in both of our lives--besides having to adapt to being together again, we will both be starting a new life together, in a new home. While I have already started on the next chapter of my life with grad school, he will be making the transition from a life he has known for over a decade (and all of his adult life) to a new life, not only with me, but in a new world, that he has not really been part of. At least not professionally. I just hope I can help him with his transition.

2011 has a lot in store for me. Besides him coming home, I've got my incredible internship this summer, and within the year I will have completed most of my masters requirements and be (hopefully) well on my way to completing my masters research. Maybe I'll even get to make a few decisions about how I'll be spending the rest of my life.

I wish you all a good year, and hope that mine goes mostly according to plan!

Dream Of Better Days

I'm so excited for next summer!

When I graduated, I had no real intention of ever going to grad school. After undergrad, I was pretty done with school, and ready to enter the real world. Unfortunately, the real world took no interest in me.

I studied political science and Russian language for my bachelor's degree. My emphasis has been on international relations (American politics just make me mad). So for the most part, the jobs I would get would be in Washington. The other Washington. Unfortunately, living on the west coast makes it harder to find those jobs.

I applied to the Bush School at Texas A&M and also here at Virginia Tech, both for their masters programs in public and international affairs. TAMU was my first choice, by a long shot--their program is geared more towards producing professionals who will pursue careers in public service, with much of their faculty coming from the military and public sector; professionals, not academics. Unfortunately, I got waitlisted there, but I did get into Tech. Either way, I stood to gain two important things: a recognizable name on my next piece of paper (no one's ever heard of WWU), and access to Washington for internship opportunities.

I got my internship.

Next summer, I will be interning in the Office of the Director of Foreign Policy Advisors (POLAD) in the Bureau of Political Military Affairs in the State Department. In short, I'll be interning in the office that serves as a sort of bridge between the Departments of State and Defense. Since my interests lie in national security, international affairs, and the military (I'm sure you're all familiar with my long struggle to become a Navy pilot), this is exactly the kind of internship I need. The deputy director, who has been my point of contact since being offered the position, also hinted that it will be a great opportunity to learn more about the Foreign Service Officer (FSO) Test that gets you in for a career in the State Department, since I'll be working with FSOs during my ten weeks in Washington.

Very exciting. Of course, it also means that just a few months after the boyfriend gets home I'll be leaving for a little while, but at least we won't be far. I'm more worried about the heat!

I Need That Song

Christmas this year didn't really feel like Christmas. So after Advent, and a month of all sorts of anticipation, it's left me feeling unfulfilled.

A number of things were different this year. It's the first time in around fifteen years I haven't been in Boise during the holiday season. Even though growing up we'd spent every other Christmas with our dad, we still had time during break with our mom in Boise. Once I went to college, I still made a trip home for a few days at some point during break. This year, Christmas with my mom was in Louisiana. It was great to see her, but it wasn't the same. At this point, with the boyfriend and I moving to Virginia this spring, I don't know when, or even if, I'll see Boise again...or any of my friends there.

Mass was incredibly disappointing on Christmas. It's been a few years since I made it to the Christmas vigil--I didn't go last year, and the year before I was traveling on Christmas eve. I was really excited to go. The church I usually go to in Palm Springs doesn't have a website so I didn't know what time they had vigil Mass at, so my stepmom and I went to a different church for theirs. It was the most bizarre Mass ever. First, when we walked in, in the back pew was a clown. A Santa clown. Bright green wig, terrifying clown makeup, and giant red suit. Yeah. Then the choir would instruct the congregation on the next song--we're singing this song, these verses, whatever--and then sometimes do something different anyways. On top of all that, the priest was a complete flake. He stuttered his way through the whole thing, forgot a few parts of Mass, and forgot lines that probably half the congregation could have recited for him. Of course, since it's Christmas, most of the people there are confused and lost anyways--either C&E Catholics who aren't as used to Mass anymore, or friends and family who've been dragged along or are just curious about the service. Other things, like people sitting down too soon before Communion, a whole family (who took a whole row) at the back just decided they didn't want to wait and walked up in front of everyone else, and then more confusion as to the order of things...really, the whole thing was a disaster. Then at the end the priest thanked everyone who had helped with preparations for the Mass and everything, and people applauded. I think I've only heard clapping in Mass once before...and it was weird then too. I was glad to get out of there.

There was one point during Mass that made me laugh. After collections, when everything was being carried up to the altar, a little girl, maybe three years old, went running (and since she was three, "running" is used very loosely here) down the center aisle, clutching a bill in her hand, up above her head. She was determined to get her money up there. It was pretty cute :)

On top of all that, having no gifts to open on Christmas, and weather warm enough to sunbathe, just kind of made it seem like Christmas never really came at all.

The worst part of Christmas of course is this deployment. It's now been two Christmases in a row that the boyfriend and I have been apart (last year was my fault...I was in Boise). Of course we don't know yet where we'll be for the holidays next year, but we're both looking forward to it at least being our first Christmas together.

Boring As Heaven

Wow, so it's been a while since I posted. After finals, I've just been so mentally exhausted...it's still hard for me to focus enough to read even fun books, or write something like this, after all of the reading and writing from the semester (and especially the last few weeks).

So far semester break's been pretty relaxing. I was a bit worried about my flight out of Roanoke when at 0545 that morning I was walking to campus to catch the bus...through two inches of snow, with plenty more coming down. My flight did end up being delayed, and I missed my connection, but made it to Louisiana anyways. Had a great weekend with my mom, and spent two days in New Orleans.

New Orleans isn't my kind of town. I can see the appeal for some people...but cheap and trashy just isn't my thing. The architecture and the whole feel of the French Quarter was really cool, and it was fun to wander around town during the day. Saturday night on Bourbon Street though was too much for me.

When I got back to Seattle finally I made a trip over to my apartment to grab a few things for California. I about died when I walked in. The kitchen counter is completely buried...my roommate is apparently stocking up for the apocalypse. Luckily, the lights in the entryway and kitchen were out, so I couldn't fully appreciate the disaster that once was my kitchen. When I go back I've got to start packing up what I've got left in the kitchen...I should be able to free up cabinet space for my roommate so that the counters are at least usable. On the 30th me and some of my girls are having a dinner/movie night, so I'll actually need the kitchen.

Palm Springs has been nice. All but one day so far I've gotten in several hours in the sun (though I don't look any tanner for it...SPF 15 is too much for me...). It's not super warm, mostly in the mid-60s to low 70s during the day, but after below-freezing temperatures for over a month prior, it doesn't even matter. It's been nice to actually thaw out. Especially with the storm that hit the east coast over the weekend!

My Christmas gift from my stepmom and my dad consisted of shopping for grown up clothes, with my internship coming up. Which I still haven't written about...I'll have to get to that later. It's with the State Department, so I definitely needed to upgrade my wardrobe. In all, I ended up with two super cute dresses, one black, the other blue and black, two skirt-suits (which are now about my favorite thing ever...especially since I hate wearing pants), four tops, and a pair of black slacks to replace the ones I have now that are starting to look worn and are now too big. Of course, I also got a new pair of heels to go with it all--cute, black, and pointy. I really do love pointy-toed shoes. I'll have to practice wearing them though; it's been a long time since I wore heels and my ankles disapprove.

My sister was more or less dying from some illness by the time I got to Seattle, so I kept my fingers crossed I wouldn't get it. Finally hit me the morning after Christmas. At least I'm generally healthier than her so it hasn't taken me completely out of commission, but I've been pretty congested and feeling a bit gross for a couple days now. My biggest concern is my flight home...tomorrow. Congestion + flying? Not fun. It will probably slow me down on New Year's Eve too, which is too bad.

I'm thinking this is long enough, so I'll write later about my internship...and about how weird my holidays have actually been.